Quick Answer
What is khastegari?
Khastegari is the formal visit where the groom, usually accompanied by his parents and close family, visits the bride's family to formally ask for her hand in marriage. It's the traditional first step of a Persian engagement, often preceded by informal conversations between the couple and families beforehand.
Last updated:
Last updated:
What is khastegari?
Also called: khastegary, the proposal visit.
Khastegari literally means "asking" — and it's exactly that: a structured, often nerve-wracking family visit where a proposal is made properly, in front of both families, rather than just between the couple. Even in families where the couple has already decided to marry, khastegari is frequently still held as a formal, respectful step.
How a khastegari visit works
The groom's family arranges a visit to the bride's family home, often bringing flowers, sweets, or a small gift. Over tea and conversation, the groom's father or a senior family member formally raises the proposal on his behalf. The bride's family may give an answer on the spot or ask for time to discuss it privately. Multiple khastegari visits are common if the first doesn't end in a clear answer.
- •Often followed by a formal engagement step (see bale boroon) once both families agree.
- •Can happen even when the couple already knows each other well and has already privately discussed marriage.
- •The tone ranges from quite formal to relatively relaxed, depending on the families involved.
Planning notes
- •Confirm timing and expectations with both families beforehand — khastegari customs and formality levels vary widely between families.
- •If flowers or gifts are customary in your families, arrange them ahead of the visit rather than last minute.
- •Treat khastegari as the real start of your wedding planning timeline if it leads directly into engagement and date-setting.
Start tracking guests as plans take shape
Once family and friends start hearing the news, Weddingkart lets you begin building your guest list and RSVP tracking early.
See RSVP tracking →Frequently Asked Questions
Does khastegari always lead to an engagement?
Not always — the bride's family may ask for time to consider, or a follow-up visit may be needed before a clear answer is given.
Who typically attends a khastegari visit?
The groom and his parents (sometimes other close family), visiting the bride's family at their home, though exact attendees vary by family.
Is khastegari the same as bale boroon?
No — khastegari is the initial proposal visit, while bale boroon is the follow-up event where the formal "yes" is celebrated, often with sweets and a wider circle of family.
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By Mayank JaiswalLast updated