Quick Answer
What is kurmai?
Kurmai is the Punjabi engagement ritual in which the bride's family (traditionally without the bride present) visits the groom's home to formally confirm the wedding match, offering gifts, sweets and cash (shagan) to the groom as a sign of acceptance.
Last updated:
Last updated:
What is kurmai?
Also called: shagan ceremony, Punjabi engagement ritual.
Kurmai is the Punjabi custom of formalising a match from the bride's side going to the groom — her family visiting his home to offer shagan and sweets, confirming that the wedding is on.
In Punjabi — ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਵਿੱਚ
ਕੁਰਮਾਈ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਵਿਆਹਾਂ ਦੀ ਮੰਗਣੀ ਵਾਲੀ ਰਸਮ ਹੈ, ਜਿਸ ਵਿੱਚ ਲਾੜੀ ਦੇ ਪਰਿਵਾਰ ਵਾਲੇ — ਖਾਸ ਕਰਕੇ ਮਰਦ — ਲਾੜੇ ਦੇ ਘਰ ਜਾ ਕੇ ਸ਼ਗਨ, ਮਠਿਆਈ ਅਤੇ ਕਦੇ-ਕਦੇ ਕੱਪੜੇ ਜਾਂ ਗਹਿਣੇ ਦੇ ਕੇ ਰਿਸ਼ਤਾ ਪੱਕਾ ਕਰਦੇ ਹਨ। ਪੁਰਾਣੀ ਰੀਤ ਮੁਤਾਬਕ ਲਾੜੀ ਖੁਦ ਇਸ ਰਸਮ ਵਿੱਚ ਹਾਜ਼ਰ ਨਹੀਂ ਹੁੰਦੀ। ਇਹ ਰਸਮ ਦੋਵਾਂ ਪਰਿਵਾਰਾਂ ਲਈ ਵਿਆਹ ਦੀ ਪੱਕੀ ਖ਼ਬਰ ਦੀ ਤਰ੍ਹਾਂ ਹੁੰਦੀ ਹੈ।
How kurmai is traditionally performed
- •The bride's father or senior male relatives visit the groom's home.
- •They offer shagan (a token cash gift), sweets, and sometimes clothing or jewellery to the groom, formally confirming the match.
- •Traditionally the bride herself is not present at kurmai, distinguishing it from a mutual engagement ceremony where both sides gather together.
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Is the bride present at kurmai?
Traditionally, no — kurmai is typically performed by the bride's male relatives visiting the groom's home, though modern families increasingly adapt the custom to include both families together.
What is exchanged during kurmai?
Shagan (a token cash gift), sweets, and sometimes clothing or jewellery are offered by the bride's family to the groom as a sign of formally accepting the match.
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By Mayank JaiswalLast updated